There’s an odd website dedicated to displaying actual photos of terrified kids, posing with Santa Claus. Not the best use of one’s time but I did see some rather old photo’s on there and some pictures of Santa that, if I had kids, they would never go near. I’ve filtered out the most amusing versions of legitimate “Scary Santas” to save everyone else’s time but seriously, how did these guys NOT scare the crap out of the kids…remember, the difference between Santa and Satan is the placement of one letter.
Ok, starting out with Santa #1 (above). This guy looks like he’s been hitting the eggnog a little too hard on his lunch break. I can’t tell if the kid is crying from being scared or from the alcohol fumes that must be emanating from this guy’s breath. The girl on the left seems to be already catching a buzz as she’s just happy to be there.
And now for Santa #2 and my personal favorite of the group. These kids actually seem to be taking it well considering that Santa has probably one of the meanest death stares I’ve ever seen. Something tells me that any unfortunate child that tries to pull on this Santa’s beard is in for a world of Christmas pain.
Ever see Full Metal Jacket?
We’ve got to cut Santa #3 a little slack because judging from the picture’s background, it’s tough to tell if this is a professional Santa at a mall, or just an unhappy uncle who got talked into dressing up at someone’s house. I hope its the latter because if not, I’m pretty sure this picture was taken directly from a milk carton.
The last Santa here (check out the nose) appears to be the only Santa in the world who doesn’t need Rudolf guiding his sleigh tonight. Unless of course the sleigh is actually a 1965 Buick, and Rudolf is the name of Santa’s designated driver.